More, more, more is the mantra of today’s culture. Accumulate more things, more money, more social media likes, more food, more career success, more responsibilities, more house, more gadgets and more clothes.
Success in life is often judged by external indicators like luxury items, popularity, salary, or status items. Unfortunately these are, in reality, poor guide posts as they aren’t indicative of true wealth, contentment or positive lifestyles. The reality behind the shiny facade is often debt, money worries, stress, poor health and disfunctional relationships.
I’m firmly of the belief that we’d be better off individually, and as a society, by heading in the other direction. We need to reject this acquisition mindset and the boundless consumerism that everyone is caught up in. Instead, we might just experience greater fulfilment and happiness from a more moderate lifestyle and being less concerned by the opinions of others. Getting to this point may require an initial focus on less in order to restore balance as we pull back from our lifestyles of excess.
Social norms help guide and direct our behaviour. Unfortunately, for many of us, simply looking to the people around us, whether they be family, friends or work colleagues, won’t provide good examples or guidance.
“Normal” often means spending more than you earn, consuming more than you need, relying on debt and living paycheck-to-paycheck. It may be easier to just do what everyone else is doing in the short term, but it isn’t typically the optimal answer in the long run.
In fact, focusing on being normal is likely to set you on the path of mediocrity, the average and ordinary. Mindlessly following the herd is a receipe for drift and a life without direction or purpose.
When you make the decision to avoid “normal” and realize that you don’t have to live up to the expectations of others, or follow the unwritten rules of society, then you can begin living your life on your terms.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition”
Having recently watched the Playing with FIRE documentary and contemplating the increased media attention around the Financial Independence movement, I started asking myself – What if this idea really took off? What if a lot of people embraced a more frugal lifestyle? What if everyone started saving more and Financial Independence became mainstream? What if a large percentage of the working age population didn’t need to work?
This is probably nothing more than a fun thought experiment, given the unfortunately high level of financial illiteracy, societal pressure to keep up with Joneses and the rampant consumerism now embedded deeply in our social conscious.
As an expat living in the United States, we’ve been privileged to be exposed to the American tradition of Thanksgiving for a couple of years now. While we haven’t embraced the national Turkey obsession, it is a fantastic time of year to spend time with family and reflect on the many things we have to be grateful for.
It is also a time of year when there is lots of temptation. The sales are already in full effect and Black Friday promotions seem to come earlier and earlier in the year. During the spending frenzy happening around you, remember that the best things in life aren’t things!
Why do we hold onto things that we don’t use or value? Why do we take certain actions that don’t make sense, given current circumstances? Very often the internal rationale is “just in case”. We tell ourselves that we might need an item sometime in the future, even when it hasn’t been used in years. Sometimes we act in a certain way because of perceived possible future scenarios.
We all know the Boy Scout saying “Be prepared” and the old adage “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail”. I’m not sure that this is always great advice or rather, it has taken too literally by some people and becomes their Just In Case (JIC) excuse.
I’ve written previously about the millions of people living paycheck-to-paycheck. It doesn’t matter how much you earn but rather how much you spend. According to a recent Nielson survey, 25% of American families earning more than $150,000 per year still live paycheck-to-paycheck, so even the wealthy aren’t immune. Apart from poor financial habits, a key reason for this ongoing money stress, for many people, is lifestyle inflation.
It is a gradual, subtle and common problem that’s killing our collective finances. The harmful effects occur over time and in a way that often goes unnoticed.
Like the fable of the boiling frog, who didn’t perceive the danger of the increasingly hot water and was slowly cooked to death, many of us have been unwittingly turning up the financial heat in our own lives by trying to keep up with the Joneses or “upgrading” our lifestyles when we get a payrise.
Most of us have been victims to the silent assassin of lifestyle inflation. Our spending inches up year-on-year, and what was once something you considered a luxury item is now a must have “need”.
Those moments when you convinced yourself that you deserved it because you work hard, or that a “one-off” treat won’t hurt, have added up over time. The aggregate impact of decisions to get a nicer couch, second car or bigger house increase our monthly spend commitments and raise the bar of what we need to earn.
Resignation or resistance? Passiveness or proactivity? Unconscious or mindful? These are active decisions and ones which I believe have a dramatic impact on our quality of life. The mind shift to being more in control of one’s destiny also requires an honest recognition of the situtation, relationship, circumstance or lifestyle we are living and then a resolution to change. Instead of complaining about your lot in life, do something about it.
One of the most liberating realizations you can come to is that you are not a victim of circumstance, but rather a product of your decisions. There are the small decisions that aggregate over time, and bigger changes that shift the paradigm.
“We are not imprisoned by our circumstances, our setbacks, our history, our mistakes, or even staggering defeats along the way. We are freed by our choices”
I’ve written in detail about some of the positive actions and choices I’ve made in recent months about my finances and the pursuit of financial independence, trying to live with less and implementing changes to lighten my ecological footprint.
Another area I’m looking to proactively address is work.
My wife and I made the decision a few months ago to live with fewer possessions. We’ve sold, donated or discarded a huge percentage of our family’s possessions. Tables, books, TV’s, desks, outdoor furniture, boxes of Lego, clothes, plus other things that now just didn’t seem necessary in our lives. When we actively started looking around at our “stuff”, we realized how superfluous a lot of it really was. It’s been a liberating process.
This intentional choice has delivered a number of tangible benefits for us: